lovdaye's Friends
Friday, July 25, 2008
6:00AM - At Least Our Nipples Are Perky!
(at the freezer section)
Dumb blond mom: Jesus, why's it gotta be so cold in here?
Dumb blond daughter: Oh god, I know! Like it's not cold enough outside.
--PathMart, Forest Ave
Overheard by: Ben
4:00AM - The Federal Tax Code, Encapsulated
Hobo to passerby: Sir, can you spare a thousand dollars?
Passerby: Haha... Oh you're serious.
--21st & 3rd
Overheard by: Paul
2:00AM - Well, It Is the Number Two Train
(a very obnoxious, lingering fart was dropped and filled the entire car during rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let's get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five minutes later: What's the matter with you fucking people? Somebody open up a god damned window!
--2 Train
12:00AM - The Pretty-Girl Entitlement Statute Begins to Wane in Influence
(three men hail a taxi and get in)
Girl: Hey, I was over there waiting for a long time. May I have your cab?
Guy #1: Are you serious?
Girl: Yes, I was on the other corner, waiting.
Guy #2 (laughing in her face): Are you fucking serious, lady?
Girl: Buy I was on the other corner waiting for a long time.
Guy #3: Oh, well! You were on the other corner, kiddo. Get more aggressive.
Girl: But guys... I was waiting...
Guy #1 (as taxi leaves): Courtesy, bitch.
--14th & 2nd
Overheard by: Luke
Thursday, July 24, 2008
10:47PM - Near Flagrant Dumbassery on my part!!!!
It's good to be friends with the knight marshal. I was making a delivery to a bagel place in Port Washington today, but thinking about Pennsic/SCA at the same time (like I have been for the last 2 weeks) , when something occurred to me....Hmmm... I haven't actually looked at my auth card in a great deal of time....OH SOD!!!... I whipped it out.....my expiration date was 7/31/08........ya know, the day before I was leaving for war.......fortunately ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
freegade swung by and set it strait. I have a temp, and the paperwork is on it's way to the KMOL...I can't even begin to describe my level of fury at myself if I had gotten to Pennsic, gone up for armor inspection and found out about it there!!!!
Nothing else worthy of note, the craziness at work is slowly winding down, a new mechanic started today, Izzy the water truck driver will be back Monday, I've seen numerous wood chucks of late on roadsides, and I saw an adorable little spotted fawn munching foliage on Tuesday right on the side of the LIE/ William Floyd parkway exit. The week has been retarded with emotional ups and downs coming on like waves of fucking Belgians. Jah bless that it's almost over. On the Pennsic front, I've got my garb packed, and am making headway, This weekend is all about projects and packing. I WILL BE READY AHEAD OF TIME THIS YEAR!!!
Lastly, to all my Brothers and Sisters in House Three Skulls who are about to make the Hajj....(grin)......safe and quiet travels, and I shall se you all in about a week...
Sallam
Hassan the Turk
busy10:00PM - ...But, Um, I Assumed He Was Passed Out the Whole Time
Girl #1: Okay so like, I wasn't going to tell you guys but Ed* and I really did have sex last night... I was lying on the phone.
Girl #2: But we knew that already! Ed* called me crying this morning because he thought he took advantage of you.
Girl #3: Ok... this is weird.
--9th St & 5th Ave
8:00PM - Isn't There a Bar That'd Take You In?
Store employee over loudspeaker: Attention shoppers. The time now is 9 pm. This store is now closing, please bring all your items to the front register.
Loud guy in the back: I don't want to go home!
--238th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Mandy
6:00PM - And Please Refrain from the Arsenio Fist-Pound
Drunk hobo #1 (in response to young person playing the guitar): Woohoo!
Drunk hobo #2: Why do you always have to be like that? It's woo... hoo... Not woohoo!
--Washington Square Park
6:14PM - Pennsic Pig
I cracked open my Pennsic Piggy Bank today. This year's accumulation was 87 dollars and change. A slow year.
But the Coinstar cost has gone up to 9 cents/dollar and Charlie decided this year to put stuff int he pig. Rightly I should say it was 87 dollars, a handful of change, 3 hairbands, 2 safety pins and some assorted lint.
In years past I have gotten up to 200 dollars. *sighs* This is what comes of being thrifty with my spending... I don't buy stuff and don't carry cash and change around.
The Pennsic Pig has always been gravy anyway and it's sort of free money, so I am not really arguing!
Leaving tomorrow night!
busy6:09PM - Pre-reg
I'm pre-regged with my household, but STILL haven't received my form yet. Now what do I do?
I'm leaving for War Tuesday.
Help??
Kate the Wicked
*edit*
Thansk everyone, *my* pre-reg was in the same envelope as my husbands(that he didn't open til today, hours after I wondered why I still didn't have mine yet.) Grr.
relieved5:00PM - By Bus?
Tech guy: Did you hear about all the snow in New York?
Help desk chick: Yeah, wow! That means it'll be heading here to California.
Tech guy: (silence).
Imperial Highway Brea
California
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-07-24
4:00PM - Dear Hugh Laurie--Call Me --Love, Danielle
Cute girl about upcoming CAT scan: There's a part of me that's actually a little excited... or at least interested, because, you know, it's a new experience.
Friend: It will be an adventure. A medical adventure. Like House!
Girl: Except the doctor won't be nearly as sexy as Hugh Laurie.
Friend: But he'll have a better bedside manner.
Girl: It'd be worth the bedside manner if he were that sexy.
Friend: We've gotta stop watching that show. It gives us unrealistic expectations.
Girl: My mind right now is like 45% fear, 25% excitement, 15% rational thought, you know, that it's probably not cancer, and the rest is Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard battling for my affections.
Friend: We've gotta stop watching that show.
--L Train
Overheard by: Jonah
4:00PM - Let's Go Ask Some Customers What They Think
Obnoxious server: Ewww, did you just fart, dude?
Timid new guy: Uh, no, I'm sorry.
Obnoxious server: Musta been me. Smells like pot roast, doesn't it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-07-24
3:00PM - Why Don't We Just Wear Sandwich Boards?
Employee: Do you think that font is big enough on these badges?
Manager: I think you have to make it really big, 36 font. Mark wants to be able to see who is coming at him from across the room.
Paramus, New Jersey
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-07-24
2:00PM - I'll Need to Review the Ensemble Personally, First
Teenage nymphette: I want to go back to the hotel and go swimming.
Chaperone: What do you have to swim in?
Teenage nymphette: My bra and thong.
Chaperone: Oh no no, I don't think so.
--Top of the Rock Observation Floor
2:00PM - Like the Fates of Greek Mythology?
Lasik tech to another: Can I borrow your eyes for a sec?
Lasik Vision Institute, California
Overheard by: blind betty
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-07-24
1:00PM - You Laugh, But Do You Know?
Rep 1: The salon across the way, their back door is wide open, but they've been closed for hours. What should we do?
Rep 2: Call the police. The non-emergency number, I'd say.
Rep 1: Okay... er, what's the non-emergency number for 911?
Scatterfield Road
Anderson, Indiana
Overheard by: Oh, the pain...
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-07-24
12:00PM - Let Me Be Blunt About That
Manager (after finding a flyer advertising "weed for sale" on his windshield): At first I was pissed, because they came to my home and put it on my car. But then I was like: "Really? There's no way I'm paying that much for an eighth!"
Texas
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2008-07-24
12:00PM - That Guy Changes His Hair Color More Than I Do!
Girl #1: So how is every thing?
Girl #2: Good, I talked to James... He's dying.
Girl #1: Ah, I see.
Girl #2: Yeah, so things are great! (nods repeatedly)
--Exiting City Hall Station
Navigate: (Previous 20 friends)